For children whose parents are going through a divorce, the nanny is often a pillar of stability. During the many transitions, the nanny can become a pivotal figure — an important “third adult” in the child’s life that is always consistent.
Parents should avoid putting the nanny in the middle of any disputes. While this might sound easy on the surface, it can be rather complex since the nanny is a central person in the home. To make sure that you can work with the nanny during your divorce, here are three important things to review:
1. Contract terms
The nanny’s contract from before the divorce may not work now. Double-check the terms, particularly how pay will be handled. The nanny will still need to be paid on the normal schedule, even though the divorce is ongoing. Any benefits offered to the nanny should also be handled appropriately. All of this requires both parents to discuss who will be responsible for paying what fees, and when.
2. Central communication
Communication should be centralized to ensure the nanny gets the correct information. Trying to navigate through two parents giving conflicting instructions isn’t something the nanny should do. Consider using one group text or a communication app to make this possible. Rules surrounding how messages and information about the children will be conveyed can make the nanny less likely to experience confusion or frustration.
3. Confidentiality
Nannies often hear private conversations when they’re in the home. Setting expectations about privacy and confidentiality can be beneficial in these situations. Additionally, parents should remember the nanny is an employee, so venting to the nanny isn’t ever appropriate.
It may be beneficial for everyone involved if the parenting plan is set early. This sets clear guidelines for the children, which helps to ensure both parents are on the same page. They can then relay that information to the nanny. Because divorces like this are often complex, it may be beneficial to work with someone familiar with high-asset divorces that involve children.
